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you know what they say, nothing comes easy for tommorrow today. or maybe that was kanye west, i dont really know. i was recently dumped for reasons that i still do not know. yeah its wierd and stupid and it makes me hate girls period. but in general it makes me feel bad for people. it seems that in this world of fast lives, cars, and women, noone really sees the value in a person. Yeah this girl was my girlfriend, but she was an integrate part of my life months before we started dating. I lost a friend as well. Maybe thats why i beat myself up, who knows. I just know that i thank god for every single person that comes into my life, while she uses people to get the comfort and needs of the 10 year old girl that resides in her. The crazy thing is, she wont even tell me why she broke up with me and its killing me inside. I dont know why i want to know, maybe just so it can make me hate her more. I think it's so i can learn what i did wrong so the past 5 months haven't been a waste of my time and i can get something out of it, something good, something worth while. Yes she gave me memories but those will fade into nothing. Everytime we talk i open my fucking mouth and belch the fire of mean phrases and ugly words. i dont mean them, and i dont know why i do it. but i guess there is something that i tell everyone- i can and will be meaner without even raising my voice than if i was screaming. And trust me i have been a complete asshole. i dunno, its juts hard ya know. i find myself slipping into the binge habits of drinking and pot to make me forget about her. I just want to stop talking about her and forget that i ever loved her.
its crazy to still be in love with someone you hate for breaking your heart........
Anonymous
January 30 2006, 23:19:02 UTC 6 years ago
Anonymous
January 30 2006, 23:35:47 UTC 6 years ago
my dearest clifton
you know what they say but it doesn't mean anything when applied to your own situation...EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. people get so caught up in the moment of love because it can happen so fast. and for some reason unknown to many therapists, it takes so much more effort to get over a relationship than one could ever put into that relationship. see i always beat myself up when i get dumped. you wonder what you could have done better but truth be told you did what you did and it didn't work. simple as that. don't hurt yourself more trying to rationalize what happened. if someone can't see the GREAT in you then they aren't worth your time. you want to know why she broke up with you? because the longer she is with you, the more of your time she is wasting when you could be with someone worthwhile. consider it a favor. you will bounce back. you will love another. you will get hurt again. it's a vicious cycle of feelings and emotions that we all must feel simply because we are capable of feeling them. it's how we deal with those feelings is what makes or breaks us. you have friends that love, admire, and cherish you. they are there for you. some great guy friend of mine once told me that i would get over it and be able to move on and find someone who would want to be with me not just because he wanted to bone but because he truly loved and appreciated me too. now i know i am looking at this from a spectator p.o.v. but you are such an amazing person and she will not be the last person that gets to you. so you put down that bottle and that blunt and you go out there and show the world who you are! clifton the magnificent! dude she's the one that should be hurting. she will realize it sooner or later but it will be too late for her. and some day she will ache like you ache! it's all apart of that vicious cycle, don't worry she'll get hers....Anonymous
January 31 2006, 01:03:53 UTC 6 years ago
-dani
Anonymous
January 31 2006, 05:21:46 UTC 6 years ago
when you're not strong ill be your friend!!
January 31 2006, 09:28:32 UTC 6 years ago
Anonymous
February 1 2006, 02:39:05 UTC 6 years ago
its chase hill
i will find u some pussyAnonymous
February 1 2006, 16:47:22 UTC 6 years ago
my hubby
i love you and i dont like to see you like this, espically over her.MOVE ON.
and save the drinking for when i get home.
we both know i need to hit the bottle, harder than i am now.
February 2 2006, 09:19:29 UTC 6 years ago
and even though we apparently dont talk anymore
im here.